6 Months sans Instagram…

Deleting Instagram was a tough decision for me, haha, 21st century teenage problems. See I had tried deleting the app multiple times, but obviously, that was a fail since I always found myself back in the App Store. It was a decision that I thought about for quite some time, and after giving my sister a lengthy call one Saturday afternoon on a cold December day, I finally was able to convince myself to rid my life of Instagram. Seconds after confirming the deactivation of my account, I felt like my life had suddenly just stopped, and that I would not be able to survive without this app that had dominated my entire existence. I thought that I would regret it, but I’ve never been happier.

Up until last year, I always cared so much about others’ opinions – I still do, but significantly less. Instagram for me was majorly a popularity contest. I had a good following, and that did make me somewhat more popular than I would have been had I not had as many followers as I did. It was good for a while. People liked my posts. My friends would ask for shoutouts. My notifications flooded with DM’s and comments, but I have to admit, I tried so hard.

The period of time before joining high school was the most dramatic point in my life thus  far. I nearly hit a depressing bottom, and a lot of it was generated from my obsession with Instagram. I became tremendously self-conscious about myself, and had this idea that I wasn’t good enough. I felt this urge to publicize my whole life and ‘appease’ my followers because stupidly, I let them determine my self-worth. I remember the horror of posting a picture and contemplating all its negatives, rather than simply appreciating my beauty. Seeing people’s perfect lives and deeming myself a societal failure. Seeing ‘perfect body’ posts and hating mine. Seeing flawless selfies and hating my acne. To add insult to the injury, I had a falling out with my then best friend and a few other friends, and a lot of people had some very nasty (to say the least) things to say to me. With all this happening, I had almost zero self-love, and constantly needed social media’s reassurance of my worth. Btw to all you who made me miserable (you know yourselves), my body is bomb! My skin is glowing! I’m peaking! There’s just too much hate out there.

Ever since I deleted my Instagram account, I admit that I’ve had some second thoughts, just because it’s such a normal thing in today’s life. Most importantly, Instagram is essential to promoting my blog!! Socially, I take a pic with a friend and they want to post it on Instagram, but wait, I ain’t on there no more. Or when somebody asks me for my username, and I reply with the rather odd answer of ‘Umm, I’m not on Instagram’. Weird, right? I mean, who doesn’t have Instagram?

However, 2018 has been a year of rediscovering myself. I formed my blog immediately after ridding myself of Instagram, and redirected my energy towards something I genuinely love and enjoy spending my time on. Living my own life without needing constant reminders of my self-worth has had me on the path to fully appreciating myself for who I am. It’s definitely hard – escaping social media hate doesn’t necessarily mean escaping real-life hate. Nevertheless, I’m glad that I don’t compare myself to others as much anymore. A private life is a happy life!

I may rejoin Instagram in the near future, but not until I 150% adore every single bone in my body. Now, before you get wild and defensive, the message of this blog is not to delete Instagram. Don’t do that! I was a little crazy myself in doing so! But, if anything, you should realize that which makes you uncomfortable or denies you all the happiness you deserve, and cut it off! Delete the toxic aspects of your life; it could be anything. For me, my life without a few people, a certain app, and thousands of followers has made me notably happier and glowy. That which makes you joyous, ride with it. In the end, your happiness is most important.

So this is the half-year anniversary since my blog began!!!!! I’m so grateful to all my readers for how much more successful it is than I thought it would become! This means, drum roll please, my first ever giveaway!! I’m so excited for this, and this will also be a fun way to promote my blog. To enter the game, share my blog with as many friends as you can. Once you’ve shared my blog, have your friends click here to privately send me a message in the following format: “*Insert name* shared your blog with me!” Include an email or some form of contact information in case the mentioned friend wins! Having the most mentions doesn’t guarantee an automatic win, but the more times your name is mentioned, the higher your chances of winning a Kshs 3000/ $30 gift card (or its equivalent) to an online store of your choice! I will get in touch with the winner in one week! 🙂

REMEMBER: BLOCK, DELETE, FORGET ALL THAT POISONOUS ENERGY!! 🙂

-Dashushka ♥