… but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.
Everything passes with time, and you know when to move on. You know them red flags, and when you begin to see them in something, somebody or a certain situation, you know it’s time to walk away.
Now, easier said than done, right? More often than not, we tend to want to hold on to certain aspects of our lives mostly due to the fear of losing something special. Sometimes, hope is a dangerous thing, and I write from a personal point of view. Hope for something to reignite, a fling, a friendship, you name it. You hope for a miracle, something to take things back to the way they used to be. You hold on, you try, even though you know it’s over. Sometimes you fear to let go of something even though it’s causing you more harm than good, only because everyone is doing it, for example, deleting a certain app like Instagram (check out my previous blog to find out more about this haha 😉 – 6 Months sans Instagram…). It may also be a certain habit that’s detrimental but you just love doing it so much that letting go of it is almost impossible. There’s, of course, a million more unique ways to look at it and interpret it, depending on your situation.
Let me tell you a little about myself. When you first meet me, I can almost bet that you’ll think of me as a girl who can barely kill a fly, except this one lady who once called me a silent killer 😂. That’s beside the point, though. No need to deny that I’m very structured and cautious about my life, especially in my studies and things like skin care, sleep etc. However, I think because I’m so introverted, I tend to be drawn towards danger, that is, I always find myself in situations that get my adrenaline rushing and my heart beating out of my chest, for example, sending that controversial text and wanting to throw my phone and jump into a lake. I have to admit though, I kind of like it – I need some craziness in my conscientious life. But there is a line between finding joy in risk but being careful about it, and something being actually perilous. One thing about me is that I will always tell you if I don’t like something that you’re doing, and sometimes it’s a little hard for me, especially when I don’t want to ruin a friendship. However, when I confront someone, most times it’s because I still want to maintain a healthy relationship with that person. Almost always, I forgive, but if a behavior still persists, then I know it’s time to let them go.
But this is so hard. Fighting for something proving to be futile. Memories creeping in that make it so hard to forget the sweet or bitter past. Feeling so attached to something or someone and having to call it quits. Sometimes, I try to walk away from something even though I deeply don’t want to. Hope, that dangerous hope, creeps in and I know I should move on but I’m scared of my life without this person or thing or memories. It can be extremely challenging especially when your mind is conflicted and it’s not something you’re ready to do. So in my journey that began seven months ago of letting go of emotional pasts and toxic aspect of my life, I learnt that you first have to consciously make the decision to let go – accepting that you have the choice and control to keep off negative energy in your life. You were fine before, and you’ll be fine afterwards. It takes time. I get that. Feel your pain fully and express your emotions, maybe by crying (it’s not a sign of weakness), writing it down, talking with someone, whatever. Realize why you are making this decision. Most importantly, focus on yourself! If it’s a painful memory, probably of guilt or suffering, you should forgive them or yourself – this is always the first step to letting something go in a happy way and ensuring that you don’t hold onto grudges, which will constrain you from truly moving on.
Remember, everyday you have a choice of whether you are willing to keep something in your life, or you’re finally ready to walk away! But to heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.
Be sure to check out my other blogs, and feel free to reach out to me about anything and everything here! Featured image: Delcy, my sister.
Don’t forget, when you let go, you create space for something better! 🙂